More specifically I guess what really happens is that the hyperthyroidism disrupts my ability to focus, thoughts coming rapid fire and jumbled rather than orderly and sequential. At times I have even found it difficult to speak because I just can't put a sentence together. (Case in point, this is the first blog post since July.) New ideas felt like things I could only see in my peripheral vision.
But then, during that half awake, half asleep time last Saturday morning I realized...I was imagining, thinking through a new earring shape, putting ideas together in my head. It was amazingly comforting. Imagining feels good to me, I guess its just part of who I am, and without it I felt disjointed and as an artist, handicapped in a way.
Recovery is a slow uphill march. I have good days and really not good days. I might not reach remission and even if I do I very well may relapse. But I'm happy for every "normal" moment and I've made peace with the fact that after all the treatment I might have to have thyroid ablation anyway.
Thank you to everyone who has commented on posts and sent me emails - I'm sorry if I wasn't able to answer you directly! I really appreciate the kindness and encouragement!
And I'm happy to be posting new work this week. Four pairs of Convertible, mix and match earrings will be in the Etsy shop tomorrow by noon.
Genevieve, you are talented, smart and strong. I have no doubt you will find a way to be who you are despite the odds. My hopes and prayers with you.
ReplyDeleteThanks so much for the encouragement Heba!
DeleteI love the earrings! You seem to have grabbed the good days with both hands. Your work may be slower but it is still lovely. xxx
ReplyDeleteThats exactly what I do Eleanor. There is such an amazing disparity between the good and bad days. Thank you!
DeleteThese earrings are amazing!! And I see more color than usual. Hope better days will win the match. Un beso!
ReplyDeleteYes Marta, I think being ill makes me crave more color.
DeleteThank you!
Hi Genevieve, I think these earrings are great! I hope your good days are outweighing the bad ones. The island is very quiet now. Many of the leaves are gone. There were tons and tons of apples this year. You may not have blogged for a while, but you have a reason. I have no excuses!
ReplyDeleteThank you Barb!
ReplyDeleteI'd love to see the island is the "off" season. Maybe someday...
Thank you thank you darling Gen. I have emailed...
ReplyDeleteI love your work. I have admired it for a long time. I tried polymer clay and flopped. I wish I could take a workshop with you being the teacher. I love creating things. It makes me excited and if I feel depressed or tired it stimulates me. I am sorry about your thyroid problems. My daughter has a tumor on her thyroid...she is 28. We are waiting for results of her biopsy. It is scary. Be blessed and Merry Christmas.
ReplyDeleteI very sorry to hear about your daughter Kerry. The good news - with all thyroid issues today - is that they know more and more and they are getting better at treatment. I have met several people through my diagnosis and treatment who have had thyroid tumors and who are now healthy and well again. I'll be praying for her.
DeleteEventually I hope to do more tutorials for here on the blog. But I would say never consider that you've "flopped". Maybe you just aren't where you'd like to be yet, but getting better takes time. And I would say especially if creating makes you feel good…keep at it! Don't quantify what you've done just by the end result. The process and how it makes you feel is so very important, maybe even MORE important, than the end result. Thats true for artists who makes a living with their work as well. Without joy in the process, the artist would just be a really small factory :-)
thanks Genevieve. (: I will have to check for tutorials! And I also think my oven temp was a huge part of my failure with the clay...it didn't look as nice after I baked it, that's for sure. I love your style, your imagination is huge.
ReplyDeleteOven temp is so important, you are right. Get an inexpensive probe thermometer. Put the probe in your oven and cord just gets closed in the door. That way you can keep track of the exact temperature and with most models you can also set an alarm if the temperature goes too high. I baked little higher than what's on the package (between 275-295) and I'm using Premo only right now.
Delete(: Thanks! I might just give it a try again. I think sometimes I want this to happen so fast, and to be so perfect, it's not real life. I was working with wood and paper with my jewelry, and making crepe' paper flowers. I think I will give polymer clay a try again!
ReplyDelete